forgotten freedom

ghosts living....withering, they stole vital pieces of us,
pieces of our hearts that make love feel like freedom.
rather now, we are caged with bars of poisonous memories
that elicit negative feelings and wrongful assumptions.
the difference here, Uncle Sam is not everywhere.
He is simply a concept, a conjured person..not real.
Miss Liberty stands strong with her red flame of glory.
a statue unchanging, always there, a symbol of forgotten freedom.
she'll be closing soon for repairs and Uncle Sam's war ended,
but they will be here forever.

~ Saturday, December 4, 2010

too many words

shut up
hold on
a tap on the leg to denote 'hush!'
tired of being turned off
tired of being ignored
i want to share what is going on inside me
i need to let it out
constantly being forced to put it back in
what i have to say gets tuned out
like the boy who cried wolf
no one wants to hear it anymore
i should just shut up
i sometimes wish i would just lose my voice forever

~ Wednesday, January 9, 2013

cannibal

eyelids burn, rubbed raw
salt stings and soothes
endless rivers confuse me
cognition perplexing
pull me out of my mind
before i eat myself alive

~ Tuesday, March 5, 2013

space

in your bed i wore only humid summer air.
burning hot potato tossed on august's floor,
now broken skin exposed, heat evaporates.
cool, the incoming autumn - your feelings.
days of lust, our naked bodies dripping wet
live in my heart's wasteland with the others
who never gave their heart, but took my skin.
ravished me until breath chanted their name,
only to revoke my lungs and stop my heart.

~Thursday, September 5, 2013

boomerang

words fell from my lips
carefully thought out

boomerang like razor blades

leaving a bloody mess
no feelings to express

situation common
well worn path
...a merry-go-round

legs weary
tears dry
no more excuses
just tell me, why?

~ Thursday, January 23, 2014

on the wagon

like the breath of hungry humans
the putrid stench of love's memory
overpowers the senses, disengages
my heart rots upon an empty shelf
waiting for nothing, i've lost interest
now dating the silence of my desire

~Friday, June 27, 2014

jazz church

my loneliness recedes with every beat of the kick drum.
sad thoughts are lifted with every pluck of your strings.
every hammer of the key releases another pent up emotion.
porte rouge sunday jazz - church sermons
your lost love evaporates a drop more with every snare beat
i close my eyes, let the music travel from my toes to my brain
igniting an insatiable fire along its journey.
one which extinguishes negativity and loneliness -
feelings that are the broken record of my heart
your rhythm is so intense it rattles my bones.
i can't help but smile when i am here.
even while writing sadness in my journal.
even being without you, here i don't care.

~Friday, June 27, 2014

timing

i don't understand,

but go ahead. preserve me

set me on the shelf

like a bottle of wine

you will be better with age

more of an aficionado

perhaps a sommelier

then you will know

my true exquisiteness

you will be able to describe

the way your palate receives me

breathes in my silky tastes

feels my full body on your tongue

but please don't wait too long

for i fear the maid

may knock me over

or my grapes will sour

and you will never

have the chance to

screw your wine key

into my perfectly aged cork
and sip my vintage lavishly

~2009 - re post

random thoughts waiting in line for a lobotomy

clawing to escape
vocal chords restrict my thoughts from breathing air
bloody teeth
silence eating at my sanity and still i hide from the sun
time travel research
no vehicle to throw me back to you on thursday
the ache may never cease in my heart,
your love was poison, your name a dirty needle tattoo

"i only feel gravity and i wonder why" NF

while trying to sleep
i feel my eyes twitch
the gears grinding to a halt
occasionally staring back up
for a second
i purse my lips and
furrow my brow to
push them away
"flames to dust, lovers to friends"
i chant sleep, which eludes me

two

walking past the coffee shop
couples sipping java
steam rising from their cups
awakening their brains
making eyes less heavy
as the caffeine kicks in

sharing a bagel
reading the paper
he smiles at her
she blushes.

how lucky they are
sharing something so simple
as a coffee and a bagel
together

dating is...

like being in a car
surrounded by windows

blind spots remain

areas you cannot see without
really turning your head

if you're smart, you double check

decide not to check and
a few things can happen

you can coast without crash

or you can really get it for not paying attention

sand dune (scrap paper poem 2005)

today my heart waited for you
love left me crouched
wiping away tears
face buried in my knees
we weren't expecting a visit
just wishing you'd flutter by

soft white desert sand
stinging and swirling around.
i am whipping across the land
free, like the grains of sand
caressing the horizon

you are there, just out of touch
a mirage, beautiful, peaceful,
a force field of physics

my soul holds a warm light
it is lit for you
how else would you find your way
to my heart?
i have been saving this light for you
let me set fire to your soul

hold my hand
your heart is broken
my free love shall,
like the wind in the desert,
build you up
no longer grains of sand
but, a dune to sit upon
and watch the sun set.

nature, nurture and genetics

i want to see your eyes ravish me,
let your palms warm my naked back.
trace my silken, black heart tattoo
and tell me how i make you feel...

no skin, no breasts, no hiding...
i want you to see the inside of me.
talk to me and tell me who you are
show me, respect me, guide me to you.
take me in and love me for who i am.
nurture my starving brain as it learns,
help me stitch the scars the others left.
my gifts - nerves and faulty intestines,
the achy bones of a sixty year old and
the rational emotions of a six year old.

i want to see your eyes ravish me,
explore my universe with your fingertips.
trace my silken, black heart tattoo
and tell me how i make you feel...

nothing

it's sad when the only thing i've
to offer you is my silken flesh.
many nights i warm the empty bed
missing you and delicate kisses
an empty pillow and cold sheets