disenchanted. disillusioned. displeased. displaced.

my face deserves to be kissed true
i don't want to feel
thought love was something we knew

they all drink away their lives
i fall in love with them
unable to decipher truth from lies

having learned this, i feel stupid
there are cages in bars
not cheering glasses held by cupid

a confusing, wobbly, dark place
my heart will die within
i need love, light and open space

two week notice

what will i do with myself when it all ends?
essays that no longer need to be written,
no more deadlines to keep me motivated,
no theories left to dissect and analyze.
i'm approaching a very crumbly cliff.

what is next? where to go? with whom?
i could become bored, uninspired, lost.
will education leave me feeling void?
who will i be, without a weekly grade?

i feel invisible now...
what happens when i actually am?

perhaps i will move out of this town,
move into the country -leave the noise.
dissolve the negative surrounding me...
bury it in the ground and watch it grow.
i will plant a rainbow of fragrant flowers
lay beneath the sun and let it warm my skin.
but, will i be lying there with emptiness?

i know i will be alone, but will i feel it?
he doesn't love himself enough to love me
i can't be filling time with his company
maybe, he does not really want us to be.

there is a patch of grass beneath the sun
where i will be laying with my thoughts
my love will return - but will my life?